Respect My Privacy. Just Respect It

(It's kind of crude so like... take discretion)







Okay, I get the fact that half of you have no sense of maturity or realistic mental development, and that's a serious problem that someone else in your miserable life will have to deal with and I will have no participation upon... But that goes for some other time.






So what point do I want to make to you? (It gets a little um... duragatory after this point, read with discretion) RESPECT MY FUCKIN' PRIVACY. DON'T GO INVADIN' MY SPACE UNLESS YOU WANT THE SAME KIND OF DAMN SHIT BACK ON YOU.






How do you think I got to this point (well, fuck off, some bitch obviously invaded my privacy, DUH)?






I was going around at lunch, walking to the bathroom, when some people stop me. Old classmates. (Complications happened recently) They want to knowlike... if I like this girl or not (well if I never told you that means I don't want to fucking tell you yet) and so they start followin... STALKING me, asking.






Then I get this ache to go use the bathroom. I mean like in the behind. So can I just go into my stall of privacy and go use the restroom in peace?






(Okay, if you're straight, the answer is yes. You wouldn't like to be seen with THAT showing, would you?)






No. You get your little fucking minion and turn him into a real-life wanker by sticking that cock-fag under the bathroom door? That's not just disgusting beyond the grasp of imagination, well it is in fact, but it's just sick. Gay.






DON'T INVADE MY FUCKING PRIVACY. LET ME TAKE SHITS AND PISSES WITHOUT FUCKING STALKING ME. YOU ASSHOLES GET A LIFE AND STOP GOING UNDER BATHROOM DOORS. THAT'S A GODDAMN FEDERAL OFFENSE.






(Thank you)
 
 
This Article Also Available At: http://www.facebook.com/#/notes/jonathan-kent-matsumoto/respect-my-privacy/274293321374

Stupid Moron Industry Part 1

Okay, okay, what market do you think will prosper in the 202nd Decade? Economists say we'll be seeing real big booms in areas like commodities and consumer products... I mean sure those areas are always going to good, because if there's no customer, WHAT IS THERE?

Obviously if something's going to push the technological or scientific indistries its going to be some radical discovery - telescopes descover E.S.s on some sort of Super-Earth Planet that seem to be designing some sort of outer-planetary nuclear weaponry to destroy the race of humans and we have 24 hours to negotiate peace treaties with them or 2 million species go extinct...

If that happens then you know two things. First of all, you've been watching too much TNT or BBC. You really need to take it down a notch when it comes to watching cable (by the way, cable is EXPENSIVE). But more importantly, you're in the world of the Stupid Moron Industry. Now this is the 101 on it!

Okay, so how does the SM Indsustry Work? Well, I'll take iPhone Users as an example. First of all, you have those iNerds; the guys that will quite literally tear apart their iPhone on the Dev App and on the desk before them.

And then of course; you have the total morons. They think they know their phone but literally, people have been able to crack the password in faster time. Using a cracker.

These morons; you can't really blame them. Technology just took a huge curve in the 21st Century; over a hundred years ago people would stand around a lightbulb and watch it go on and off with excited comments... "Oh! It works!" "Margie, It's Wonderful!" (If you still do that today, then you've achieved lv. 2 of being a stupid moron)

So anywy, someone's got to help all these people tie their shoes and fix their stuff... That's where this Industry Comes in.

So now, I'm going to teach you (over the course of several posts with some untimely interruptions) HOW I want to perceive history and why it happens.

(Sorry for anyone who got called a Stupid Moron. I will try to find a more constructive way of stating the truth.)

Epic Failure Statements #1-5

It dawned on me that people say stuff that epicly fails all the time. I'm going to share some!

1) Once, I met a guy who torrented freeware.

I torrented iTunes because I couldn't afford the real thing!

(iTunes is Freeware, You're Behind)

2) One time, this guy got really B.S.ey on me.

Me: Okay, okay, I get your point. Can you please stop it?


Him: No you don't get it. See, you people seem to think that...


Friend: Douche, Shut Up! We've had enough.


Him: I'm no douche. He's an idiot!


Me: No you're the idiot. How many fingers am I holding up?


Him: *Squints* THREE.


Me: No there's two behind that.


Him: Pssh


Me: What's the square root of pi squared.


Him: That's impossible. Pi's not a real number.


Me: Actually, it's pi squared, and the answer is pi.


Friend: PWND!


Him: Oh what now? Should I go 'round and 'round saying "I'm a douche, I'm a douche"


Random Walker: ...Yeah you are a douche...

3) I'm a fan of the Simpsons. Remember that episode where Ralph Wiggums runs for President? They ask him "What's your take on illegal immigration?" and he says "Stranger Danger.


4) This asshole was trying to tell this girl that he thought we (the girl and me) were in a relationship. So he's trying and trying to prove it to her and he finally comes up with an analogy.



(That was to the girl, not me)
5) I once read the health warning for some sleeping pills. It said "WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS" Yeah you know what? MAY cause drowsiness? First of all, that's a no brainer, and second, I'm not buying them. I want SLEEPING PILLS not MAY CAUSE SLEEPING PILLS. How about you?

You're Edward. He's Bella.

Just A Thought

When I go to college, I want a Japanese roommate, so we can build up a fortress of Instant Japanese Noodles... And when that chick comes to kill us for playing Japanese LPs in the library, we'll just pick up a Marchun ('cauz they're only like .99 a box) and throw it at her. And then we'll have to flip a coin over who's fault it is... =]

An Excerpt Of My (Potentially) Upcoming Book

I realize there's practically no one that really reads my blog or anyone that could care less about what I have to write, especially stories coming out of such an anonymus person that the world never heard of and may never will... But anyway, I just wanted to share this short clip I wrote, the original inspiration for the book. The rest of my story is still at introducing Zachariah, let alone the French Gaurds, and kind of setting the uh... setting, but I still want to include this when I get to the point...


This is the story of a man named Zachariah. He grows up during the purification of the 1340s, and his family dies off of the plague. He goes running into the countryside and hides in their like a nomad living off berries for a while until he finally gets captured.


At the moment, they plan to torment him and he is trying to escape before they whip him and beat him to death with the cross:

“Imprisonment”




March 1346


Orleanais, France






He took a look at his surroundings. The cell was dark, desolate, and bitterly unwelcoming. There was an eerie silence and a single beam of unwelcoming ray of tainted light, nothing comforting to a man of faith like him. At moments it made him feel like he had to be dreaming; any moment he would wake up at his home back in Reims, but there was no such reckoning. He was imprisoned in hill with what seemed like no way out.






It was only a matter of time before they came to torture him. Locking him up in a prison with no one else for company or nothing was only part of it. He was an “impur,” as far as they were concerned, it was his fault the plague had came and killed their families. He didn’t think it was simply punishment to the impure anymore, with the way people went on rampages in the countryside killing all the Jews in the sight, it was simply disease.






The Church refused to accept the idea that such sicknesses were inevitable. It wasn’t simply chance or bad luck that could explain such disaster to them. People all across Europe were dying, and obviously there had to be someone to blame.






Zachariah hated to be imprisoned. He had at one point been a free man, a shepherd; he used to roam the land freely. But with one move, that freedom had been taken from him, and now he was locked in a cage, a cage of darkness.






Behind him, the door opened. In stepped a man of short stature. Along with him came several other men, dressed in simple garments, holding whips and crosses. He stood their thinking now was his time.






Next to him, he felt the jab of a sharp pitchfork. Without thinking, he realized it was his only hope at surviving. He slowly grasped his hand around the handle, and started to pray.






He knew it was against his religion to do anything so violent, but he was hard pressed this time. With one final reckoning, he gave the thought, “Here goes nothing” and swung the pitchfork.

That's all I have for now, maybe I'll one day finish the story.

Life's No Fair; It's Better That Way

Have you ever sat down at night after a hard day of labor, feeling partially relieved and yet dissapointed that while you are working your butt off, your boss is on vacation in Tahiti? Or maybe you were younger, there was that time when Jerry ran off with the toy you found, and you wanted it back.

There's always going to be that upper guy, the guy that has a bigger pocket (unless you're Bill Gates), the guy with more power (unless you're Obama), and the guy with the bomb (now if you're a terrorist... I really don't want to talk to you. EVER), but that's all the luck of the draw. Some of us were born rich, came into the right industry at the right time with the right ideas, and *boom* we're higher than we thought we could ever be.

But that's not fair. For as that multibillionaire dines on his fine dinner of caviar sushi (I find that disgraceful), you're stuck with the styrofoam plate of Panda Express. Yeah, that guy is probably enjoying his buttox and you're not, whatever happened to that kid in Africa? He would probably give everything he ever earned to eat that "junk" you have; it would be the BEST thing he ever tasted (obviously this is a guy that HASN't met a dirt-rich-steak-for-breakfast-everyday dude).

So before you sit down in your (death)bed, think about this... You're life isn't perfect or anywhere close, but it could be a LOT worse... Optimists always go further in pessimists; It takes optimism and commitment to become a multibillionaire, you know?

And anyway, if life was fair, it wouldn't be that much better anyway... It would be plain, no fun, no unfair in your favor. So just think about that.

Yes I'm Back To This

I took a break from blogging for a couple of weeks to just... catch up with life. I started writing my own book (this be the second to successfully bypass fifteen pages, the first was a fiction story about how the seven wonders of the worlds are portals to alien worlds, I gave up once I found myself writing the word "phoenix"). It's about a Jew in France during the years of the purification (1340s) and I like the fact that the topic is highly avoided.

I don't think it's going to get published (or even finished); don't get your hopes up.

So I've come a long way from being a programmer, a nerd. I'm in the media team right now helping plan out Career Day (I get to produce videos... They [almost] treat me like one of their own, with the exception of the occassional cuss slang ever now and then), I'm getting some high hopes for a major event that might happen in my life; a major event I was thinking wouldn't happen all this time... But I'm not going to talk about that unless it actually happens; I'm not going to get MY hopes up to be letdown.

Life's doing fine. No I'm not killing myself in bed with a knife tonight. I think I'm fine rejoicing the good there is, and feeling good knowing that life isn't perfect, but if it was there'd be no fun in it at all.