You KNOW You Really Pushed IT When...

Okay, EVERYONE get son my nerves every now and then, but I don't hate you because you totally pissed me off... I only hate it when you're CONSISTENTLY pissing me off. And how do you know if you're consistently pissing me off (other than the fact I am CLEARLY ignoring you)? Well, I put together a list of WHY I hate some of you people so much (sorted by least to greatest).

1. You Just Don't Want To Talk To Me In Public When it comes to the cyber world or messaging, yeah, you can't shut up w/ your 500-messages-a-minute policy, but when it comes to the real world, your like "Oh, I don't know him. He's kind of ugly though." First of all, I have feelings, but more importantly... That is just plainly annoying (and the precursor of heartbreak) [ Note: That explains WHY it's so low on my "hate" list because well... yeah ]
2. You Try To Help And You Make Things A LOT Worse Than What They Were This goes to those people who in various subjects, in abstraction, music, and relationships, thougth they could help me become a better person then who I am (the only one that has ever succeeded would be my parents). Unfortunately most of them ruined my life. Made the person I used to like hate me, make me suck even more... Well, at least you tried. [ I realize you tried to help, that's nice knowing ]
3. You Love To Press The Little Details In Life Yes, it's true that your trashy little life isn't perfect and it's never going to be perfect, but that's not my issue, that's YOURs. I accept the fact that if my life is miserable, it's going to BE miserable until otherwise. You should too, and stop picking on the fact that it's NOT and you can fix it. But... if you must keep on pressing the significant changes that must be made in life (like making the line 1/64" lower), then here's one... stop that rumbunctious mouth from destroying the earth with its horrid sound. [ I realize every now and then I go douche and do that too ]
4. You KNOW that WE KNOW, But You Still Say "No" It's kind of obvious when you're blushing, not looking, and stuttering, that you've obviously got something that you're hiding, and that we FOUND OUT. So be Mr. Oh-There's-Something-Going-On and realize that there IS something going on. [ I still can realize that you don't want to tell always, but c'mon dude, it's obvious ]
5. You Think You Know It All, You Know NOTHING Everyone feels like they're a special someone, like they're better than everyone else deep down (even if they claim they're a total loser and act like one on the outside) and you know what, that's okay. But you got to consider the fact somethimes, you're NOT Mr. Right or Mrs. Perfect, and maybe someone gets the fact that you're well... just plain annoying. So stop rubbing it in everyone's face that you got a 95% and that you only studied for 5 minutes, because there are a LOT of things in this world that you have no fucking idea about. [ Sometimes I have those kinds of attitudes too ]
6. You Just Don't Get It I just don't like explaining things to people who don't catch up, or even the ones that catch on after a LOT of effort. There's an Alice In Chains song "Dirt" and some of the lines like "Just don't get it" (see title)... Well basically, I KNOW you need the help, and sometimes I want to give it, but SOMETIMES I DON'T. And you got to learn fast because I would prefer to teach fast. [ I realize that you're kind of doomed anyway so why hate you too much? And you chew up so much time and effort ]
7. You Think Life Is ALL About Winning And If You Lose Than The World Will Fall Over See, we're all going to lose sooner or later, whether in this life or in what comes after. And you know what, I get the fact that losing isn't epic, and that sometimes it BURNS to lose, but guess what? Life is going to move on, whether you do or not. So pick up, get a life, and realize... you know what? I've lost before, so it's not like I'm god and you're not, it's just that I accept that I can't be. [ I realize I was like this at one point when I was a little point, but you know what? I grew up. ]
8. You Don't Get When It's NOT Funny And When It's NOT COOL (And You Don't Get When It IS Funny) You just love laughing at the stupidest and most retarted aspects of this confounded life and you just generally enjoy taking stupid shit and glamorizing it... And then of course you take your um... douche-y to another by taking a perfectly rational statement and going "Oh, that's stupid" [ This is starting to get to the point where there's no slack or possibility, but simply just annoying and more annoying ]
9. You ALWAYS Refer Back To Facebook Profiles Okay, you want to know something that's NOT on Facebook? It's not life. There's more to life than the flashy blue-and-white (pathetic) interface of Facebook, and if you don't then well, I think you should go get a life. I'm not going to list 100% of my secrets and my little trashy personal stuff on an Internet Profile... Want to guess why America has high Identity Theft Rates? [ This has made me want to quit Facebook on several occassions but I am constantly pressured to go back. ]
10. You INVADE My Privacy I wrote a whole article on how someone invaded my privacy by looking under the stalls, and they've tried to stalk me since (I got REALLY bent out of shape and started swearing)and you know what? It's just REALLY not cool, REALLY inappropriate, and REALLY immature. Shut up, get out of my life, NO SLACK.

I have NEVER before tried using styling on my blog, I don't know if it helps emphasize my point or not, but I do know it consumes a LOT of time.

Conclusions I've Drawn

Recently, I've been working on videos for the school Career Day advertisement "campaign." I've gotten some pretty good work out with Windows Movie Maker, and all in all, it's going good for me.

I've quit the idea of becoming successful of a project... Off a webpage. Maybe sometime in the future, I can orient a business and use a webpage, but web programming isn't where the money is... The industry DOES demand web programming, but with all the recent WYSIWYG and applications like blogging (see this) are so much simpler and considerably less expensive than paying your friend's hopeless nephew to go write a webpage for your business... Not to mention that they get done faster and you have more supervision and control over the website.

So in the end, I just decide to be who I am, to study, to improve my fundamentals, my foundations in all of my subjects and turn up in a higher point of life. The world of programming requires you to learn several languages over the course of your life, and in the end you lie there, a muddle that can mistaken code from one language to another... In the end, it would be considerably more simple to go into a field that didn't require you to learn alien, even if it is even more considerably ever-changing, like business for example.

I'm going to be aiming for an MBA, and maybe a minor in English, so that not just can I write memos, but maybe memoirs. I want to be someone, I want to be successful for once in my life.

No I'm Not God

I don't know how long it takes for some people to realize that just because I'm so smart, it doesn't mean I have like.... godly powers or anything.

Maybe intelligence is a gift, but only in the early years. Intelligence can be gained with commitment and determination; it can be lost without the two. It's all a question of which you choose to do.

So maybe I was born a curious, intelligent child, but what ultimately is that coming from? It's curiousity... The seeking of wanting to learn more for the sake of learning more... The hope for answers in the search of the million year old questions... Why are we here? WHY do we live? What's the meaning of living? The same questions man asked on his first moment here.

The problem is not everyone seeks to learn for the sake of learning, know for the sake of knowing. Most people are quite contented with knowing that they have a sense of knowlege... And assume that those who have more have too much. It's not a hard assumption to come to, but it's also a very cold one... It shows that you don't seek to know, knowlege is not a conclusion you want, you just want to have fun by knowing that you can induce ignorance upon yourselves.

In the end, it all comes down. Maybe I'll be successful and be looking down upon those who called me a failure and sought to make an insult of me every time I did something wrong, every time I got a problem wrong on a math test, every time I knew something that was above their heads.

I'm okay with that. It doesn't really matter how it all comes down in the end to me, but I just want to become successful first... Become someone, the best person I can be. Be able to sit down at night and not look back and say "I should have been like...", "I could've done...", "I would be..." I want to be able to sit down and know that there's nothing I really have to regret... That I can be satisfied with being who I am.

These are my thoughts... If you want to live your life differently, there's no one telling you that you have to, but then again, no one ever told me I had to read so much, that I didn't have to fit in.

A Place Where I Belong... A Place Away From Here

When it comes to fitting in, I always fade out... I've never exactly had the personality traits of a popular person, but then again I had a bad start... I've grown up being the "nerd" and in a way the outcast, and if I were to blame one exact factor, it would be my intelligence. I'm just above the point where I really need to fit in with stupidity...

As I sit on my bed, I sit there, recalling... Sometimes I think of... A better place. A place where I can actually properly fit in with a group... I've gotten closer to finding the people I want to associate with, but still... One can't dream for perfection right?

I guess a lot of people are just jealous of me, but still they don't deal with it right. First of all, they should be content with what they are and not covetous of those above them, but what justifies being a nuissance (asshole) and driving other people crazy just to prove they have some worth in this world?

These are my thoughts... Some good, some bad.